codswallop and gobbledygook

visitors

2012-01-30T11:02:00.001+11:00

Yesterday we had two separate visits from children, one 4 year old and one 18 month old (with their respective parents obviously). I don’t think we’ve ever had kids visit us before, which may be a reflection of our previous general interest level in other people’s kids, or just that not many of our friends or immediate family actually had kids until recently – probably a bit of both. Anyway, it was quickly obvious that a) we have no idea what to do with kids and b) that our house is totally not kid-proof. We tried to keep the 4 year old happy with offers of juice, biscuits and chocolate all the way from Switzerland but apparently he ‘doesn’t like those kind’, only the games on Mum’s i-Phone were of interest. The 18 month old of course went directly to the shelves that are full of knick-knacks and collectables, at grabbing height and probably not exactly child-safe. Hmmm. Anyway, I’m sure there are far worse thing than kids that don’t like Swiss chocolate (more for me!) and I figure we’ll work it all out as we go, and we’ve got a bit of time before ours will be mobile to put away all our adult stuff and replace it with smooth-edged, non-flammable, non-swallowable, non-breakable, crayon and vomit resistant stuff.

hot

2012-01-30T10:36:00.001+11:00

Sleep is starting to evade me now. This is common apparently (another thing I didn’t realise – I thought since you were more tired you would sleep more, alas it seems to be just want to sleep more), but I am anyway blaming it on the heat. It mostly seems to have just been on the really hot days. Last night was especially lovely with the high temperature and the anticipation of rain that never seems to come and instead just heightens the humidity to unbearable. Baby was moving so much around 1-2am I started to convince myself it was getting heat stressed and suffering foetal distress. That didn’t help with the getting to sleep bit. It wasn’t of course, and after a certain amount of house pacing in a zombie-like state, re-opening all the windows some one else had closed (why oh why?), adjusting the blinds and other things that kept making annoying noises and more pacing, sleep returned.

nappies, nappies, nappies

2012-01-27T10:46:00.003+11:00

I seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time lately thinking, reading and sadly even dreaming about nappies. Its all about wanting to make an informed choice but realising that doing that is not always straight forward. Intuitively, I'm not really keen on disposable nappies. But the name of the game is of course lessening the environmental impact. So, I want to be sure that the environmental impact of cloth nappies is significantly lower than disposables before I put us through the pain of using them - with all the washing and drying etc.
And, of course, all disposable and all cloth nappies are not the same. I'm sure this would have been a much easier comparison if cloth nappies were still just squares of cotton cloth that you fold up and pin on, but these days there's 'modern cloth nappies' that don't need folding or pins but can have all kinds of things in them apart from cotton like bamboo and hemp and microfibre and special waterproof coverings - all of which have their own kind chain of (poorly documented) environmental impact.
After wading through limited research results and pseudo information from all kinds of cloth nappy advocate groups etc (Oh yeah, turns out there's legions of people obsessed with nappies, eek, is this what motherhood does to you?), it seems to boil down to cloth nappies will have a smaller environmental impact but only if you wash them in large loads with a relatively efficient washing machine, don't use a tumble drier, or use them on more than one kid. This is basically because cotton uses massive amount of water and pesticides so the production part is really high impact. This part of the impact can be reduced if you get hemp or organic bamboo ones (but non-organic bamboo uses loads of chemicals in the processing which has a huge impact as well).
Or, to really reduce the impact, you could buy second hand-ones, the attractiveness of which might be tempered depending on how you feel about cloth that has already caught some other kids poo (I'm still undecided).
My personal favourite idea, from a website full of patterns and instructions to make your own nappies (where do these people get the time?!!), is the old t-shirt nappy. Totally recycled, easy and free (depending on how many old t-shirts you have).

desensitised

2012-01-25T10:41:00.003+11:00

Going to all these childbirth preparation classes, has meant so many discussions about bodily functions, physiology and anatomy and seeing so many videos and pictures of naked women, ginormous breasts and babies sucking on huge nipples. I think I have become desensitised to it all and start to think this is OK fodder for normal conversation. I noticed yesterday that I was having a lengthy factual conversation with a colleague who has recently become a first-time Dad, whose wife is also a work colleague, neither of which I know that well, about their methods of post-birth contraception and only realising this was perhaps not the most appropriate workplace conversation (in an open office shared with 5 people) when he said ‘not that we are getting much practice in to need it’. Eek. We later moved the conversation onto prams instead.

33 weeks

2012-01-25T10:41:00.002+11:00

no sleep til...?

2012-01-24T09:24:00.002+11:00

according to the midwife running our childbirth education course (the final one was last night thankfully - it was good but enough), in the first few weeks of life the baby will feed 12 times a day, each time taking one hour, and be 'unsettled' (polite way of saying crying its head off) for 2-3 hours a day. That leaves 9 hours to fit in changing nappies, bathing baby, showering yourself, preparing and eating meals, doing the washing (including hanging and bringing in), dishes, housework, feeding/walking pets if you have them (thank god we don't!), doing your pelvic floor exercises, buying groceries, and sleep. hmm.
I'd like to think she was giving us a worst case scenario to mentally prepare us, but I know friends who have had babies recently that had pretty much this experience. But I also know they survived it well and are very happy.

snap decisions

2012-01-23T13:23:00.000+11:00

As you would expect, the hospital has a set of standard procedures that they have to apply in a one-size-fits-all type of fashion to provide the overall safest, healthiest outcomes. However, as I am learning, just because it is the standard and generally recommended procedure, doesn’t mean you, as an individual patient, have to always follow it, or that’s its best for you. But that also means you have to know what the procedures are, why they do it and what the pros and cons are, which means getting totally swamped in information. And all of the ‘information’ is loaded with opinion and various motivations – people get very worked up about this stuff. Overwhelming.

Anyway. One of these standard procedures is a test at 36 weeks for Group B streptococcus. Sounds yuk, but its a common natural bacteria that people have without knowing about. The problem comes if you are pregnant and you have it in your, ahem, vagina, during birth then there is a small chance you could pass it onto the baby and then a small chance that the baby could get sick from it, and if they do get sick from it it can be very serious and can even cause death.

The issue with the test is that this bacteria is transient so if you have it at 36 weeks there’s nothing to say you will have it at the birth and vice versa. So, the test result may not really be meaningful, but a positive result will mean antibiotics at birth – which can have a variety of side-effects for you and baby, as well as a much greater chance of having to be induced – which might then lead to the dreaded ‘cascade of interventions’ (which basically means with each ‘unnatural’ intervention like being induced you’re far more likely to need the next more serious intervention like epidural, forceps or caesarean). But of course if you are positive, the antibiotics greatly reduce the chance of your baby getting the bacteria.

So at the last visit we were offered the standard test and had to decide whether to do it or not. Although I knew a fair bit it still felt like making a snap decision, and I’m not a 100% sure we made the right one. Still I’ve got a few weeks to change my mind I guess, and the midwife was more than happy with the decision which is reassuring. (we decided no test).

update

2012-01-20T11:10:00.002+11:00

In case you're interested, I'm happy to report that, as expected, everything was normal (or 'perfect' as the midwife likes to say) at our check up this week. Apparently the uterus should be the same size as the number of weeks you are, so mine, at 32 weeks was, you guessed it, 32 cm. Blood pressure normal, baby heart beat normal. Weight gain since last visit (4 weeks ago), less than 1 kilo. Between weeks 24 and 28 it was over 4 kilos and between weeks 20 and 24 also less than 1 kilo. So its all very variable, but all good apparently.
and.. our plan for the end of the day appointment has also been working out very well. So far we've only had to wait about 5 minutes each time

midwives

2012-01-20T10:34:00.002+11:00

Midwives are my new favourite kind of people. So far I've found the ones at the hospital are friendly and open, they seem to actually care and be interested in you and your progress, they listen and answer your questions without making you feel like an idiot (the opposite of which is usually my chief complaint about doctors), and they respect your opinions and choices - I'm assuming this is the case only so far and they don't let you make stupid choices. So when at this week's visit we were offered the options of seeing an actual doctor at our next visit or sticking with 'just' the midwife, I straight away said the midwife. Since the doctor isn't going to check anything different to the midwife and so far everything is going well, I figure I might as well stick with people I feel comfortable with and that will more than likely be at the actual birth and have one extra opportunity to get to know them a bit more. What do we need a doctor for anyway?

information

2012-01-18T13:35:00.005+11:00

The childbirth classes have armed me with a lots of information but also a lot of questions. Our midwife will be bombarded tonight! Strangely enough the descriptions of and information on the normal natural birth made it sound far, far preferable to the drugged birth, caeserean birth, or complicated birth. So of course I'm keen to do whatever I can to help avoid those things or, not get too stressed\scared about them if it happens that way - I'm not sure that these two things aren't incompatible.
One of the things I was surprised about what how anti the 'hard stuff', being epidural and pethidine, the hospital midwife who ran the course was. I was never keen on the drug options but after that chapter of the course I am even less keen and even quite worried about them and their side effects in case they might become necessary for me. I had heard lots of stories about hospitals encouraging you to take the hard stuff so I guess I was expecting the course to, if anything, be more pro than anti. In the end her real point was that too many people take the drugs without being aware of or thinking about the side effects - which can be quite significant, so she wasn't against their use per se, since they are often needed, but against their use without thought. It all makes sense to me and I'm glad to have some of my pre-conceived ideas about hospital staff be wrong and see that they are keen on the process being as natural as possible, although I still suspect many of the other staff, especially the doctors (as opposed to midwives) might not have the same approach.

differences of opinion

2012-01-18T13:20:00.006+11:00

Yesterday someone at work told me I don't look very big for my stage of pregnancy, today it was 'not due til March? gee you wouldn't want to be getting much bigger, you're already pretty big!' (yes, tactful people at my work). Its all in the eye of the beholder it seems. So, I'm looking forward to find out what the midwife says this afternoon, about how much weight I've put on and, I guess more relevantly, the size of my uterus. So far each time its been exactly the size they say it should be, which feels pretty good to me (even if if does make you feel somewhat 'average'). I don't feel like I'm huge so I'm guessing it'll still be 'just right'.

32 weeks

2012-01-18T10:18:00.002+11:00

technicolour

2012-01-16T12:33:00.001+11:00

Warning: tune out now if you’re squeamish.

In the second instalment of the calmbirth class yesterday the midwife recommended pre-expressing some breast milk (or actually ‘colostrum’ which is what it is called at the beginning when its got more fat and protein and stuff in it), freezing it and then taking it to the hospital with you for the birth. It apparently can be very helpful if your baby has trouble with starting to feed.

Anyway. I’ve always imagined the breast milk would like more or less like cows milk, i.e. would be white. So, I was kinda surprised to discover on experimentation that at the moment mine is yellow, and not some pale off-white type yellow, – bright bold technicolour yellow. Weird. Turns out this is the normal colour of the colostrum part, but its gonna go to white later, which now sounds rather boring.

love and money

2012-01-13T20:01:00.008+11:00

All this baby gear is pretty bloody expensive. Several people are offering me second hand stuff which I think seems like a good idea - as long as its all clean, in working order and safe (and not too ugly of course!). There are however many people who think this is terrible, and you should only have the newest, best, most expensive of everything for your bundle of joy. and they'll make you feel bad about the idea of second hand - probably to help justify to themselves the ludicrous amounts they are spending on cute designer this and that. Implying how much you spend is a sign of how much you love the baby. Of course I don't plan to scrimp on quality or safety if it would have any impact on us or the baby, but I don't think it will make baby any happier to have a room full of matching designer furniture and accessories. and as my partner says, I don't remember any of the products I had as a baby. So I figure instead of spending 10 grand on all the first stuff for the baby (as one of my colleagues did), I could spend 1 grand and put the other 9 grand in a high interest term deposit for the baby when its no longer a baby - bet baby would remember and appreciate that more! or just spend the extra on more useful, practical or fun things and activities that will help improve baby's and our lives.

stretch or be cut

2012-01-12T12:37:00.002+11:00

One of my biggest fears/dreads about the birth is the possibility of Episiotomy. If you haven't heard of this, as I imagine most people who have not had a baby haven't, there's no nice way to describe it - its a cut to the tissue/muscle (perineum) between the vagina and the anus, eek. The midwife running our hospital Childbirth class did not make me feel any better about this by informing us that this cut is often performed with a pair of scissors and no anaesthetic, eek, eek! This is because by the time its apparent its necessary there often isn't time to wait for the anaesthetic to be effective. Maybe by the time you get to that point you have enough pain elsewhere that you don't notice the pain of a scissor cut 'down there', but somehow being cut just seems so much worse to me.
I'm really hoping my perineum is going to prove super stretchy!

Goodbye boobs, hello milk cartons

2012-01-11T15:40:00.005+11:00

We were told in Childbirth education that apparently the WHO recommends that babies should be breast fed until they are 2 years old. Eek - 2 years! That seems like a very very long time to me. And, if you have two kids that could mean 4 continuous years of breast feeding. Of course I'm all for breast-feeding and definitely appreciate its the natural, normal, best way of feeding a baby but 2 years just seems so long. Call me squeamish and warped by society but something always makes me uncomfortable about walking and talking toddlers still breast-feeding.

31 weeks

2012-01-11T09:06:00.002+11:00

calmbirth

2012-01-09T10:56:00.002+11:00

Yesterday’s activity was the first day of a 2-day class in calmbirth. Might sound like a contradiction in terms, but I take it as being relative. I was pretty sure it was going to be useful but I was kind of apprehensive that it (and the other participants) might turn out to be a bit hippy-drippy too much feeling and new-agey for sceptical types like us. But on the whole it was quite practical and down-to-earth and I must admit I really enjoyed it and I felt a lot more relaxed at the end of the day. Yesterday was mostly about techniques to help stop you being afraid, tensing up your muscles and therefore feeling more pain. As such there was lots on breathing (calmly not in that huffy puffy way American TV shows always feature in labour scenes) and relaxing, and ways for increasing levels of hormones helpful for relaxation of your muscles, and visualisation (this bit I’m still not sure about). In some ways it’s a lot of stuff that’s logical or you partly know already, but I think just having some one else pointing it out and go through it all in a structured way, demonstrate things and doing this together as a couple is worth the price of admission (which wasn’t exactly cheap). Next week is apparently a lot more ‘hands-on’ so that should be interesting.

Tonight is the first part of the hospital’s childbirth education classes which I imagine will be somewhat of a contrast in vibe.

motherhood

2012-01-06T11:34:00.001+11:00

As you might imagine, impending motherhood leads me often to thinking about my own mother and my relationship with her. I believe I have, and generally always have had a pretty good relationship with my mother. Sure she frustrates me endlessly, and despite acknowledging and being grateful for everything she’s done for me, there still remains those niggly things for which forgiveness doesn’t come easy, but those are normal mother-relationship things, right?
So, in thinking about motherhood, I’m constantly yo-yoing between hoping I can do as good a job as my Mum – I mean, as my sister and I always say, look how great we turned out!, and promising myself I won’t do this and that the way my Mum did.
Only time will tell I guess, but I’m inclined to think that key is not to over think or over-analyse these things.

panic

2012-01-06T11:33:00.000+11:00

With the mayhem of Christmas, end-of-year, holidays, and New Years over, I’ve come back to regular life to realise its time to start panicking. While I’m sure (and people keep saying) you can never really be ready, you can undoubtedly be a lot more ready than we are, or than I think we are. This feeling I think is largely due to the fact that we haven’t bought anything yet, and there is apparently so much that must be bought: nappies, clothes, blankets, nursing pads, maternity bras, changing table, wet wipes, pilchers, nappy-snap things, baby bath, pram, baby carrier, any combination of cot, cradle, crib, Moses basket, bassinet, pack-n-play (what exactly is the difference between all these things anyway?), etc, etc. And for every one of those things there are so many options and considerations, which for me - who tends to over-do the research side of any purchase, seems to mean so much time needed to find the ‘best’ one. Luckily shops are easily accessible, and if I can just let go of the excessive research urge and just go out and buy a few of things which are most essential I’m sure I’ll start feeling better.

calming ocean

2012-01-06T11:28:00.001+11:00

During our baby-moon we spent much time swimming in the ocean, which was fantastic. Most of the time we were swimming in a bay near our accommodation, which featured clear blue water, lots of space with only a few other people about, no seaweed and gentle rolling waves - very relaxing. We also went swimming at a surf beach which was lots of fun but perhaps less relaxed – with all the waves crashing on us, the jumping and kinda cold water, I expected baby to react a lot and move around a bit but it must have been shocked into inactivity – not a peep felt. Perhaps the sounds of the ocean and my own easy-going happy mood were trumps over the excitement. Now back to regular life, with no soothing ocean around, baby has been going nuts, all the time it seems.

30 weeks

2012-01-05T23:41:00.002+11:00

baby moon

2011-12-27T08:39:00.003+11:00

Today we're going on what people call a 'baby moon', being the last holiday you go on as a couple before a baby is born (another last). To me the name baby moon doesn't quite make sense to me - if it's derived from honeymoon, shouldn't it be after the event? but semantics, semantics. Looking forward to getting away (and it will be another first-ish too - much the same as Christmas, a first adult holiday that doesnt involve way too much alcohol). There'll be lots of sun, beach and wildlife - that's the plan anyway, and little to no updates here.

29 weeks

2011-12-27T08:34:00.004+11:00

lasts and firsts

2011-12-25T22:31:00.004+11:00

I hadn't really thought about it, but as several people reminded me - the last Christmas that we don't have children! A little scary. Also made me remember another Christmas half a lifetime ago - pretty much exactly, which was the last time I had a Christmas where I didn't get drunk - hmmm, (and coincidently the last Christmas at which I ate meat) which makes this my first adult sober Christmas.

relief

2011-12-22T10:50:00.002+11:00

There are many many things to worry about when being pregnant, most of which relate to or boil down to worrying about the baby surviving and being healthy. I've spent a lot of time being concerned about the likelihood of miscarriage and the like. Of course we're not there yet, but I must admit this week I am feeling quite relieved just knowing we have made it to 28 weeks and all looks good. While babies born before 28 weeks can survive, after 28 weeks the chance of survival and being healthy are very high, so I'm very happy to be here.

28 weeks

2011-12-20T22:11:00.002+11:00

skin

2011-12-20T16:10:00.002+11:00

One of the side effects of my pregnancy has been looking into the mirror to see my 13 year old face looking back at me. You might think this sounds like a good thing, but actually the only thing I remember about my 13 year old face is the rampant acne. At least this time 'round I am feeling much less self-conscious about it. Although, it still felt a bit depressing to have it pointed out to me. Oh yes, my family members are champions of tact. Anyway, at risk of jinxing myself, I'm thinking the worst of it is over and my skin appears to be clearing up, yay!

touchy feely

2011-12-19T14:27:00.002+11:00

Many people had warned me - apparently when you are pregnant your stomach becomes some kind of public property and people will come up and touch or feel it, people at social occasions, people at work and supposedly also complete strangers. Eek! I had trouble believing it. I mean what kind of person thinks that's appropriate? If I went up to someone and started poking at their stomach they'd think I was a weirdo, so why would anyone think its OK to do that to me? Nevertheless I started to expect it, and started imagining my angry response accompanied by a backhand.
Lo and behold, last night I experienced my first unsolicited belly pawing. The worst part probably being my lack of angry response, I didn't really feel that bothered by it at the time. However, I did mention my plan of whacking whoever might try. He, being my former Aikido sensei, thought this was a great way to keep my Shio Nage or similar in practice, hmmm.

showers

2011-12-17T14:28:00.002+11:00

You might think the idea of being showered with gifts would appeal to most (at least that's what I am assuming the 'shower' the baby shower, bridal shower etc refers to), but such events have never appealled to me. It all seems so cheesy and always involves super lamo games. The few bridal showers I've been to have bored me to tears, but at least they have alcohol to offer some relief. As a diligent reader might remember, I've always managed to avoid actually attending any baby showers I've been invited to, as they seemed to promise even more tedium. So, I had no intention of having a baby shower myself. But people do keep asking. Some friends made a considerable effort to convince me the other night - 'It doesn't have to be the traditional type - you can invite men', Oo, Oo, can I really?? sigh. 'You remember so and so? I went to hers and it was great - no lame games' and then went on to say 'we had to guess the pregnant stomach size, did blindfolded draw the baby - hilarious!' and some other activity whose details I have forgotten but also sounded very much like a super lamo game to me. hmmm.
But the clincher argument is of course, 'but all the stuff, you get so much useful stuff.' and I must admit I'm almost falling for that one. Finding out and thinking of all the stuff you need to get for a new baby is overwhelming, then the figuring out which kind of each thing to get, let alone the effort of actually going out and buying it all. Maybe letting some other people do some of that work wouldn't be such a bad thing. But finding the enthusiasm and energy to organise an event in this 'condition' and with all the other stuff we're trying to get done seems a big call. And, the idea of having a party just to get presents is kinda vulgar.
Undecided

tight

2011-12-15T17:55:00.002+11:00

Everything feels kinda tight these days, well, in the belly region anyway. For some reason I expected to feel more flabby than tight - but this is definitely better. But, the latest new feeling is a particular tight feeling in the lower abdomen. At first I thought that my tights or my undies were just too tight for my ever-expanding stomach and were and digging in, 'cos that's what it feels like. I stuck with that idea for a while but turned out that changing into my loose fitting pj's or a general lack of clothing wasn't always helping. So, I naturally turned to Google, where I found out that it's pretty common. How on earth did first time pregnant people cope before the invention of the search engine?, must have spent a lot of time fretting or visiting the doctor, or maybe they just talked to other women in real life - eek!
Knowing it's common is good, albeit what I expected, but I really wanted to know is what causes it, and that's still unclear. Suggestions range from Braxton-Hicks contractions (the uterus muscles tightening occasionally, kinda practising - this idea doesn't seem right to me 'cos its more a constant feeling), the uterus stretching, ligaments getting stronger etc. Anyway, a question for the midwife next week I guess. Apparently having a lie down helps - sounds like a good excuse to nap at work to me!

full

2011-12-14T14:36:00.002+11:00

I seem to be constantly hungry but my belly keeps saying 'ha! no, sorry, no way you're gonna eat all that, there's not much space in here anymore ya know' and as result I am also constantly full. Its a weird feeling being full and hungry at the same time.

27 weeks

2011-12-13T20:26:00.003+11:00

3rd trimester, eek!

belly belt

2011-12-13T14:06:00.006+11:00

When I was shopping for maternity clothes I just couldn't bring myself to buy those elastic waisted/topped maternity jeans. Shudder, elastic waisted. My idea was that I was going to be biggest in summer and it'd be warm so I could go for dresses as much as possible and wouldn't need too many pair of pants. ha! yeah right had I forgotten where I live? Anyway. What I found was a doodad called the belly belt, which basically acts as an extension to the waistband on your normal jeans and other trousers. So, you have the jeans unbuttoned but held together with the belly belt and then you have a stretchy wide belt/band type thing, kinda like a cumberbund, which you wear over the top of your jeans which covers up the fly. I wasnt really convinced at first but after seeing what was on offer in the world of maternity trousers it started to seem like a good idea - cheaper than a new pair of pants, can be used with all kinds of trousers, does not require purchasing elastic waisted anything. And, it worked pretty well...at the beginning when my pants didnt need to be too much wider. But it now seems a bit problematic. On sitting down the band kinda rides up and when you get up you find you've exposed your open fly. I'm having to constantly remember to check that all is properly covered up, and regularly find that it is not, which makes me a bit worrisome about all the times when I do not remember to check (probably always during important work meetings). And this isn't only an issue when sitting - but also walking, bending, stretching - pretty much always except for when standing still. And even when it is all covered up the belly belted open-fly doesn't really sit flat, like it should according to the promotional pictures, so there's a strange bulge under my lovely cumberband, which I'm sure looks rather dodgy.
On the other hand this could all be my imagination as my partner insisted its not noticeable, but I'm not sure he's a credible witness - he also thinks the wigs on the African ladies in our neighbourhood are not noticeable.

childcare

2011-12-12T17:18:00.003+11:00

The other day a friend was telling me about her kids childcare centre. They rang her up while she was at work (obviously, otherwise she probably wouldn't be paying the have the kid in childcare) to tell her her son had gotten a splinter in his hand, allowed her to hear him crying and screaming in the background and then told her they weren't going to do anything about it because they are 'not allowed' to remove splinters. What? How ridiculous. Whyever not? Also, what was the point of calling her, just to let her hear her kid suffering? They knew she was at work about an hours travel away. She ended up having to get her mother to go there to remove the splinter and the childcare centre couldnt(wouldnt?) even provide a pair of tweezers or anything to get it out so she had to use a pin from the pinboard. I mean surely they have first aid kits? What do they do if a kid properly injures themselves, just let them bleed away while they wait for someone else to come and take care of it?
So, I now know something else I need to check on when deciding on a childcare centre - do they actually provide care.

low tolerance

2011-12-09T14:06:00.006+11:00

I'm discovering a whole lot of new terms theses days and I'm also noticing my very low tolerance for a lot of slang type pregnancy terms that just grate on me but other people seem to think are 'fun', ugh. I really hope I never slip into using these, for example, some of the most loathsome:

preggo
as in preggo-friendly - i.e. a restaurant whose menu doesn't revolve around all the stuff you're not supposed to eat when your pregnant, or preggo-brain (see 'words fail me' post). Cant even think of the right description for why I detest this term so much, it just sounds awful.
Same goes for 'preggers'

up-the-duff, up-the-spout
who would have though that people actually still really use these terms! They remind me of gossiping miserable women sniggering about some young unmarried girl getting pregnant

knocked-up
This just sounds so bogan to me, but might be just because of that lame movie of the same name out a while back

yummy-mummy
ugh, just smacks of over the top overly fake and totally unrealistic articles in 'women's' magazines

But worst of all is all the acronyms especially those used in Internet discussion forums, particularly
DD dearest daughter
DS dearest son
DH dear husband (or dear hubby)
all usually accompanied by details the birth dates and a lame-o quote about love and happiness and in sickly cutesy font in blue or pink, or maybe purple, ugh ugh ugh.

words fail me

2011-12-09T14:02:00.002+11:00

I was warned, and I guess I didn’t really believe it, but I am now all too clearly exhibiting the symptoms of my pregnant brain turning to mush. In particular I seem to be struggling with vocab during conversation. All too regularly I find myself floundering mid-sentence with stuff like ‘and well, you know what I mean, the thingamy, the what ya call it, that doodad’. Eek. Not that I was ever really the queen of eloquence, but this is a bit much. Maybe I need to go and visit the Blarney stone again. Its all very reminiscent of Homer Simpson with a bowl of ice-cream requesting ‘that metal thing, you know, you use to, um, dig food’.

relaxation

2011-12-08T12:10:00.001+11:00

Last night’s yoga session involved a new position for the relaxation part. I can never remember the names of such things so lets all it feetonwallasana. Basically involves lying on the floor with your butt against the wall but elevated on a big cushion (or rolled up blankets for everyone else in the class who don’t get my special pregnant lady treatment, ha ha), then legs at right angles going up the wall. Surprisingly it’s more comfortable than it sounds, once you manage to actually get yourself into the position, or at least it could/should be. Baby wasn’t so sure and kinda went nuts. Not sure if it was the being turned topsy-turvy or the strong calming voice of our teacher, but felt like the kid was trying to jump out. So, not such a relaxing relaxation period, but fun.

rules of appointments

2011-12-07T16:51:00.002+11:00

In the past when it came to medical appointments my general rule has been to try and get an appointment as early in the day as possible. That way, theoretically, there won't have been time for the doctors to get so far behind in their schedules, as they always do, and I hopefully won't have to wait very long. (Although I have often had the experience of being in the waiting room and seeing the doctor only turning up to work sometime after my appointment time).
Today I discovered that this tactic is not going to work at my hospital. The best way for me to get to the hospital from home is to get the bus, which goes directly to the hospital, but arriving in time for a 'first thing' appointment means taking the bus during peak hour. The bus seemingly has a bus stop every 50m along its entire route, and somehow manages to wind past every school and railway crossing in the two suburbs it crosses at the same time as being on a major inbound traffic route. In short, it took friggin ages to get there. And everyone else seems to have the early morning appointment idea - there were sooo many people in the waiting room.
So, the new tactic is the end of the day appointment. Being on the one-to-one program means I can have an appointment a bit later and, as it turns out, everyone else has gone home by 5, so I can sneak in at 5 after relatively painless pre-peak hour travel to find an empty waiting room. At least that's the plan.

test

2011-12-07T16:33:00.002+11:00

One of the many things I've found out about in this new world full of stuff I'd never even heard of let alone knew anything about, is gestational diabetes. Yep, being pregnant can give you diabetes, sigh. This is usually temporary but it also puts you at greater risk of getting type 2 diabetes afterwards, as well as other nasty potential consequences. Anyway, had to head down the the hospital to have the test today. This involved drinking a bottle of very sugary fizzy stuff, then spending a rather pleasant hour sitting in the grass in the sun reading a book (I did 'try' to do some work by calling some people but they didn't answer the phone, shame) and then having several vials of blood taken out of my arm. Now just have to wait and see. I'm not in any of the risk categories so I'm hoping chances are low, otherwise there will need to be yet more scrutiny and adjusting of my diet, sigh again.

26 weeks

2011-12-06T20:56:00.003+11:00

moody

2011-12-06T11:07:00.002+11:00

damn hormones! They've got me a bit melancholy at the moment. Lots of 'what have I got myself into?' thoughts. The idea of being responsible for a whole other person's life and well-being weighs heavily sometimes ('cos it all always comes back to the mother you know). Luckily this generally swings back to an over-arching feeling of contentment and joy pretty quickly.
I read an article the other day that said that babies were better off if their mothers had a more or less consistent mental state throughout their whole pregnancy - even if this was a state of constant depression, than if they went through highs and lows. I can't see how it could possibly be better to be feeling constantly miserable for 9 months than to feel happy a lot of the time and sad occasionally. Its not something I'm aspiring to anyway - just more advice I'm ignoring.

empathy

2011-12-05T10:42:00.001+11:00

Last night I watched some crappy crime show on TV which happened to feature a pregnancy empathy suit (I’m tellin ya, it’s a conspiracy). During ante-natal classes the father-to-be is given a ‘suit’ with a fake stomach and boobs on it which also simulates the movements of the baby so he can try to understand what his partner is going through and what it feels like to be pregnant. Ha! How ridiculous! I thought. Reminds me of those classes where they’d give teenagers raw eggs or dolls and they’d have to pretend they were babies and look after them for a few weeks in the hope it would put them off having unprotected sex and getting pregnant. As if.
Yet, at the same time I wondered if it might not be a good thing. A little while ago we went to one of the pregnancy/childbirth prep classes offered by our hospital. There were two separate classes one for the men one for the women. I imagined the men would be learning all about how to look after us, understand what we were going through and to be supportive, etc. But, found out after that the key message had been that out of the three people in this (baby, mother, father) the most important person is you (being him, the father). Hmmm. What about me, me, me?

horror stories

2011-12-05T10:41:00.002+11:00

Warnings and horror stories abound in conversations when people know you are pregnant. On top of which it seems that recently TV shows, magazines and newspapers are suddenly featuring so many more stories revolving around pregnancy and childbirth tragedies. Clearly this is some kind of conspiracy ‘cos it cant possibly be that I’m imagining it or that I might be more drawn to these kind of stories these days than I was when not pregnant. This week they’ve been getting to me a little and I’ve been worrying about too many what-if scenarios. However, I’m figuring this is a good thing. I reckon that the horrible things you worry about or hear about happening to someone else never end up happening to you. It’s the things you don’t think of that get you. So, maybe the more awful things you imagine the better?

under siege

2011-11-30T13:10:00.002+11:00

I started feeling the baby moving and kicking a while ago, which was all very exciting, if a somewhat strange feeling. However, in the last few days or so the kid seems to have gotten very active. As soon as I sit still or lie down I feel like I'm getting beaten up from the inside. I'm wondering if this might mean the baby will take after its father rather than being the sedentary (OK, lazy) type like me.
And I swear it was dancing (by which I mean the first noticeable reaction to music) a couple of days ago - sadly it was to Ganggajang.

25 weeks

2011-11-29T17:11:00.004+11:00

weight

2011-11-29T15:09:00.003+11:00

When I found out I was pregnant I imagined I would be one of those women who stacks the weight on, not just to the obvious belly area, but everywhere else too. But surprisingly it doesnt seem to have really happened. In the early stages I lost a few kilos. This is apparently common and generally related to morning sickness but I didnt have much morning sickness (only puked once which was more due to a colleague's rally style driving in the rain on a dirt road than pregnancy I reckon). I think the weight loss had more to do with no longer taking in all those alcohol related calories and maybe a loss of muscle mass when I stopped Aikido training.

I've been randomly picked to be part of a research study looking at the influence on weight gain of weighing pregnant women at each hospital visit - they no longer do that as standard practice. Apparently many women put on far too much weight in pregnancy these days and they want to find out if being weighed every time will make women less likely to stack it on. Hmmm, fear of other people knowing and what will be officially recorded is a powerful incentive (disincentive?). Anyway, as a result I know that I put on less than 1 kilo between week 20 and week 24, and apparently this is very good. I guess that makes sense 'cos a baby only weighs a bit under 3.5 kilos on average when its born. I wonder will I put on more weight each week as we get closer to due date, do foetuses grow in weight and size linearly or exponentially or...? Will have to look that up.
Unfortunately I dont really know what I weighed at the very beginning (20 weeks was the first measurement) except from my probably less than reliable home scales. and should I measure from the very beginning or from my lowest weight point after I lost weight? hmmm.

on the nose

2011-11-27T19:02:00.003+11:00

During pregnancy one develops a rather acute sense of smell. This has meant I have to avoid things like Subway 'restaurants', whose stink I could barely handle before but would be sure to set me to puking now, and my partner's breath after our regular Vietnamese meals and a beer or two (for him obviously, not me). The other thing I've noticed is an increased production of, and sorry but I can't think of a nicer way to put it right now, snot. This is apparently very common, but what I don't get is how I can have such a stuffed up nose and still be noticing every tiny whiff of any kind of 'scent'.

reminders

2011-11-25T10:42:00.002+11:00

Every now and then I've completely forgotten about being pregnant, and I catch sight of myself in a mirror or reflected in a shop window or something and get a shock - argh, what happened to my stomach? Oh yeah, that's right!

one-to-one

2011-11-23T20:40:00.002+11:00

Got to meet my midwife today, which I was rather excited about, and I'm glad to report I'm not any less excited after meeting her. Thanks to U's skills in charm and persuasion and general ability to get people to give him what he wants, we managed to get onto the Hospital's one-to-one midwife care program, despite the program being theoretically full for our birth date. The means we have one primary midwife who we see for most of our appointments and the birth, plus a small team of 3 other midwives who are like back-up for when the primary one is called to someone else's birth or has already worked her 12 hours etc. We get to know each of the midwives on the team and have a direct contact to them if we have any questions or problems outside of our appointment times. This is not the norm for the public system where apparently usually you have no idea who you will see at an appointment or who will be there at the birth and rarely see the same midwife more than once. And the best part being that after the birth (assuming all goes well) you get to go home within 24 hours and then your midwife will visit you at home to see how you're going, where usually you're expected to stay at least 3 days in the hospital.
So, I'm feeling pretty happy about the whole arrangment so far.

And, she measured my belly and I'd be glad to report to the hairdresser that it was exactly the size they say it should be for 24 weeks, ha!

wind

2011-11-22T19:52:00.002+11:00

ah, the pain. I can't comprehend how so much gas can even fit in my belly. Luckily there's no yoga today, these days I try my hardest to get a spot at the back of the room because of the regular worry of otherwise gassing some poor sucker who happens to be behind me during the downward dog. Luckily during my aqua fit class it can be easily hidden with all the splashing.

24 weeks

2011-11-22T19:23:00.003+11:00

cute

2011-11-21T16:48:00.003+11:00

On the weekend I went into a hairdressers I'd never been to before to ask about an appointment. On seeing me the hairdresser started gushing and exclaimed "Ooo, aren't you cute as a pregnant person!!! Oh, its so cute".
This reminded me of reading somewhere recently about how the baby-bump is a current celebrity must-have fashion accessory (sadly, I still haven't quite overcome my tendency to waste time reading celebrity trash gossip, sigh). It seemed like such a funny thing to say, as though I'd decided to come dressed today as a pregnant woman but tomorrow I might instead go out sans baby bump as a normal non-pregnant woman. And as convenient as that might be sometimes - leave the foetus at home to grow alone, its really not possible.
She then asked me how much longer I had to go, which I had to think about quite hard because most people ask the other way 'round (how far along are you?). In response to my answer she seemed disapproving - "gee you haven't put on much weight!". Really, how would she know? she never saw me before

disturbed

2011-11-20T15:02:00.001+11:00

I’m reading ‘We need to talk about Kevin’. I’m realising this is definitely not a good choice of reading material for a pregnant lady. (If you haven’t heard about it, it’s about the mother of a kid who grew up to be perpetrator of a high school massacre. At the moment it seems to be about a woman who had a perfect life which completely fell apart when we decided to have a baby which it turned out she wasn’t really convinced about having). Its rather disturbing and I know I should just stop reading it, but once I’m in I just can’t seem to abandon it. I keep hoping that it will somehow get less disturbing. Its leading me to far too much thinking about nature versus nuture, and the possibility of purely evil children.

weary

2011-11-18T17:22:00.002+11:00

It's Friday afternoon and what I'm looking forward to is not beer o'clock, an excellent band I plan to see at the pub, a night of laughter and dancing, a great movie or even a nice dinner. All I am looking forward to is getting home to have a nap. Oh dear! and by all accounts such feelings are likely to last for a long time yet.

faith restored

2011-11-17T09:50:00.002+11:00

As if in direct response to my recent grumbling - I was offered a seat on the train for the first time this morning, yay! Admittedly it was only half a seat due to the rather overweight girl sitting next to it, and since I could only really fit one buttock on the seat and the fat girl had cheapo headphones on, was listening to loud tinny pop and had a nasty bronchial sounding cough, it might have been more comfortable to stand. But, its the gesture that counts and this act has restored my faith in the humanity of Melbourne's train travelling public, for now.

'really?

2011-11-16T14:22:00.002+11:00

I didn't think you were going to.' has been a very common response when I have told people I'm pregnant, including from my own mother. And although I've quite openly been rather uninterested in other people's children (and still am), and I don't go around telling anyone who'll listen my family building plans - as I know many people do, I have been somewhat taken aback by this response. I guess because its a reminder that people are making all kinds of assumptions about me and my life. Such an assumption seemed groundless or illogical but I'm forced to realise its no doubt based on things I've said and done over the years. Probably things like my response of 'groan, do I have to?' whenever invited to a baby shower and my success at avoiding attending every one I have been invited to (no, I will not be having a baby shower, ugh), or the look of total trepidation that has completely taken over my features whenever I have in the past suspected I might be asked to hold someone's baby.

advice

2011-11-16T11:53:00.004+11:00

I found out pretty quickly that everyone, and I mean everyone, wants to give you advice on what you should be doing when they find out you're pregnant. Including those people who say 'now you don't need listen to all those busy-bodies who want to tell you what to do, you just do what is right for you, but here's one really great piece of advice I can offer.....'.
Today a friend of mine who has no children and has long and loudly professed a dislike for children, also gave me her pregnancy advice (yes, you). hmmm.
I know they mean well, but unless I've actually asked someone I must admit these days my eyes are quickly glazing over.

Western Health strikes again

2011-11-15T16:34:00.001+11:00

Today a lovely Western Health midwife rang me - apparently she had a message that she should call me back. Only thing is that the last time I rang a Western Health midwife and left my details was 6 weeks ago. In the meantime after many unanswered faxes, and frustrating phone calls with unhelpful hospital admin staff I've, not surprisingly, given up on Western Health, and have taken my business elsewhere (whoever said the public health system wasn't flexible). You'd think after this and this they'd be trying a bit harder.
In some ways it's a real shame because the actual midwives I've spoken to seem great and they've offered me a place on their one-to-one program (where you get to have the same midwife for all your visits and the birth), which by many accounts is fantastic, but on the other hand, given above, maybe I've had a narrow escape.
And, I'm pretty sure I've managed to wangle a place on the one-to-one program at my alternate, more responsive maternity care provider.

ah, my aching feet

2011-11-15T16:33:00.000+11:00

Still looking forward to the one day when I will be offered a seat on public transport. This morning the train was crowded as usual, but luckily I happened to be standing right next to a seat that was vacated by someone getting off the train at the next stop after I got on. This other (young, seemingly fit, non-pregnant) woman actually glowered at me because I sat down in it when she apparently wanted to, sigh. Although I guess it wasn't as bad as on the bus the other day when a 20-something year old guy actually pushed past me to get to a vacated seat before I could.

(luckily my feet aren't actually aching as yet - but they could be - those people wouldn't know!)

23 weeks

2011-11-15T16:31:00.003+11:00

context - months and weeks

2011-11-15T16:02:00.001+11:00

Before I gained pregnant lady status I was blissfully uncomprehending of the concepts of gestation weeks and would measure any time frame longer than 4 weeks in months, like regular people. But pretty much from the moment of purchasing the first pee-on-the-stick home pregnancy test, the measurement by weeks concept is thrust upon you. As such by now the idea is fully entrenched and I can only measure pregnancy duration weeks, and will title my posts accordingly.

ta ta

2008-12-17T11:32:00.002+11:00

I've decided to give up on this, its boring and I cant be bothered. I will have to keep the 101 in 1001 going though 'cos I still have about 65 things to do and I gotta finish what I started. 'oo roo

blog

2008-11-26T15:19:00.003+11:00

the problem with not blogging very often, I was thinking today, is that when you do blog you better make it interesting, otherwise you might come across as a very boring person. If you blog everyday then it doesnt matter so much because some things will be interesting some will be boring but its just something you do on a daily basis so it doesnt all have to be fascinating. However, if you only blog every now and again it implies you are waiitng until you have something interesting to write about and if what you end up writing isnt actually interesting (not unlike this post really), it implies you dont actually have anything interesting happening in your life or any interesting ideas to write about. Now of course it goes without saying (and yet here I am saying it) that this is clearly not the case for me - I'm just too busy being all interesting to spend much time on the blog.
uh huh.

moody

2008-11-12T16:59:00.004+11:00

I had been in real mood today, you know the sort of day when you feel like writing a blog item about all your pet grievances (today in particular: someone you dont know putting you on an email list you didnt know about and then sending you piles of useless email in particular relating to Deirdre's (who you also dont know) health issues and then trying to make you into the annoying one when you ask to be removed from the email list; a whole heap of mail man related gripes). Anyway, just as I was grumpily pondering why students walk so slow in front of me and never in a straight line and why seminars have to be held all the way on the other side of campus, I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with 'Wiggedy Wiggedy Whack' in fluoro pink and green Fresh Prince style graffiti font and I cheered up no end. brilliant

payoff

2008-10-31T12:22:00.004+11:00

work was very much feeling like too much of a trial this week, until yesterday when we got up close and personal with these fellows, and I got to cuddle the little guy - all in the name of scientific research of course

samaritan

2008-10-21T12:45:00.004+11:00

as I waited at the bus stop last night there were a few people around of the kind that, although you dont like to admit it, you'd generally avoid. Not because they're necessecarily bad peple but they look like they could be bothersome. rough, a little dodgy. There was a bit of a commotion going on. One guy talking loudly into a mobile phone trying to describe where he was (aparrently not really knowing where he was), one older scruffier guy taking about pain and a young neat Indian woman looking anxiously from the guy with the phone to the bus arrival board. As it turned out the phone belonged to the woman and the guy, who apparently didnt know either her or the scruffy man, was talking to the ambulance service. The thing was it was very unclear whether the older scruffier guy was actually injured or not. he was talking intermittedly about chest pain and having been in hospital, and being blind. when the ambulance people arrived (seeming very unimpressed) he talked about being beaten up. he seemed drunk and confused but perhaps he was confused due to pain and injury. The guy who called the ambulance quickly left once he heard the ambulance coming, as if he was afraid of possible responsibility, leaving the somewhat bewildered owner of the phone not really wanting to be connected with it all but having missed her bus to inform the ambulance unavoidably involved and I guess curious.
I found myself thinkingI was glad I wasnt there earlier and wasnt a part of it all, but I guess its good to know that people are inclined to help others even if its inconvenient and there is some suspicion that there is something funny about this guy. I hope that ifI had of been there earlier I also would have been helpful and not judgemental.

jacaranda

2008-10-19T14:24:00.003+11:00

what a pretty place I work at!

hollow promises

2008-10-17T13:27:00.002+11:00

I'm getting fed up with people who offer things that they seemingly have no intention of delivering. Particularly irritating of late are those glibly thrown about offers like 'I'll buy you a coffee', 'we'll go for a drink', 'you'll have to come see our new place' with no specifics about when and where and you know it will just never happen. why bother saying it? however, more troublesome lately are the amount of specific promises that people just don't deliver on. this is particularly disappointing when the promise relates to food, especially of the chocolate variety. In a class a little while ago we had to participate in a game (sigh) the winner of which would get a prize. on winning the game I was informed the prize was the purchase of a coffee in next weeks class - do you think it ever eventuated?, of course not. Attendance at a seminar was encouraged this week by the offer of coffee and cake, what greeted us on attendance?, why nothing of course. Every month we have a centre meeting before which everyone talks about the supply of chocolate bicuits and whose turn it is next time, choclate biscuits are even written into the agenda evey time, in the more than two years i have been here not once has there been a choclate bisuit in sight, not once. why oh why do people say they'll do things they know they wont? dont they know I get very irritiable without my sugar fix?

flying

2008-10-16T20:01:00.002+11:00

During a conversation with a new acquaintance recently I remembered that I quite regularly dream I am flying. The dreams are very vivid and it always seems so real. In fact when I was a kid I truly believed I could fly and it wasnt just a dream. In those days I never went very far and it was mostly inside the house, up and down the hallway. I guess I was afraid of what people would think if they saw me. These days my flying episodes are on a much bigger scale and almost always escaping from something or someone chasing me.
anyway, coming back to reality (of a sort), the new acquaintance felt I was very lucky to dream about flying and proceeded to wax lyrical on the benefits and methods of astral projection which he seemed quite sure I would be suited to. Unfortunately I think I must become a somewhat different person when I enter the land of nod because that was where I started to tune out - in my waking life I'm far too cynical for that kind of thing.

inadequate

2008-10-15T17:42:00.002+11:00

a colleague asked me to give him some feedback on a seminar he is going to give as part of a job interview. by the end of the seminar I was very impressed by his achievements (not that I wasnt before - he's rather an impressive fellow) even though he apparently hadnt mentioned a whole lot of other stuff that makes him even more impressive. but the overwhelming feeling was of my own inadequacy. I imagined what I would have to say in a similar seminar and freaked out by my comparative lack of acheivement. now, one would think the ideal reaction to this would be to knuckle down and get on with working towards more acheivements, but no, instead I seem to have procrastinated away most of the afternoon. hmmm, I'm again thinking I'm not cut out for this adademic business.

prying

2008-10-15T10:20:00.002+11:00

I've been filling in a job application form and they want to know the salary you had for every job you've had for the last 10 years, but not just the salary but the starting salary, the final salary and the level of tax you were paying plus the value of any allowances, for every job for the last ten years. Maybe its just me, but this seems a little too much like prying to me. I would understand why they want to know current salary if they are trying to work out how much to offer you, but this is an organisation with very fixed and advertised pay scales depending on the grade of the position and generally your postion on that scale would depend mostly on experience and qualifications. even if it didnt why do they need to know what the tax rate was? why does it matter what I was earning 10 years ago? I dont even rememeber what I was earning in my last job, let alone anything before that. it all just seems a little suspicious to me, but I'm not sure how I should fill the form out. I guess I'll give them the info for this job but leave the rest blank since I think its none of their business and its too hard to actually find that info, but will this lessen my chances?

politics

2008-10-13T13:22:00.002+11:00

its student union election time again, which annoyingly means you cant go anywhere around campus without being hassled by mini-politicians in ugly campaign t-shirts trying to get your vote. its particularly irritating 'cos I really dont care and have no intention of voting. In normal elections of course I'm more than willing to take my part in the democratic process and get kinda annoyed about people who dont appreciate their right to vote and dont bother to vote (not thats thats a real issue here with compulsory voting and all). however in this case I just cant see the point. First of all I'm not really a student of course (although part-time in a graduate course still kinda counts, no?) and secondly those student parties just dont seem to do anything. The people who got in last year's whole campaign seemed to be about getting a Subway on campus, which didnt happen (Thank God - man those places stink! Its beyond me why anyone wants to eat there). In fact as far as I can make out nothing happened at all except food got more expensive, and apparently they sent the union broke.
anyway, I'll just consider myself above it all and try to avoid most areas of campus until its all over at the end of the week.

sarcastic?

2008-10-10T17:54:00.005+11:00

its not often that you hear sarcasm from a German, so when I do I tend not to recognise it. When its the double whammy of coming from a German who is also the IT guy its even harder to detect. poor guy, but you gotta give him points for trying.
The Austrians on the other hand seem to have a frim grip on sarcasm, or at least thats my deduction from watching many episodes of Inspector Rex. I mean its surely a piss-take, no? Not that I'm knocking it - I love Rex - so cute, so funny, good way to practice German and generally much better than most of the crap on Australian TV. However I might have to give up on it since last night not only was Rex's starring role being partially overtaken by a second dog (apparently his best friend), but there was some imposter taking over Richard's role. sure the new guy was much better looking and spent a large proportion of the time with very few clothes on, but Rex with no Richard? thats just not on!

sleepy

2008-10-09T19:22:00.002+11:00

every now and then I go through these periods where I feel incredibly weary all the time for a few days to about a week. falling asleep at my desk is not uncommon during these times as well as incessant yawning (usually when people are talking to me about important work things) and concentration and expressing complex things doesnt go so well (although that might be be a normal state of affairs for me). It doesnt seem to have anything to do with the amount of sleep I'm getting or alcohol intake or anything like that. So I'm thinking that either I should be on that show 'Is Your House Killing You' and that there's some hidden toxic crap in the roof of our house, or (perhaps more likely?) its diet. Occasionally I suddenly feel really sleepy shortly after eating breakfast which is another reason why I suspected a reaction to some kind of food, but it could perhaps be just a bog-standard iron deficiency.
I think a structured attempt to figure it out is in order, although all that food diary and removing this and that from my diet etc seems so tedious. maybe I'll just try iron supplements for a while.

neighbours

2008-10-08T22:23:00.002+11:00

on the weekend I noticed one of our neighbours loading a whole lot of their belongings into a horse float (yes, seemed strange to me too) in what appeared very much like moving out. I cant say I was sad about this because although we dont know them, neighbourhood gossip suggest they are selfish and greedy and they never ever say hello to us - in fact obviously avoid doing so.
anyway later in the day I went out and there was a whole lot of stuff on the footpath when I came back it was still there and my other neighbour was outside looking nervous. Apparently the couple who lived in the other house had broken up and after the woman'd moved her first lot of stuff , the guy had chucked all the rest of her stuff out on the street. My other neighbour was then trying to quickly get it off the street before it got stolen or damaged for the woman without the guy seeing her. ah the dramas of our neighbourhood! ha ha. but I must admit I did feel sorry for her despite not liking her previously, and so I've now decided its the guy who's the crappy one which is unfortunate 'cos he's the one who's still our neighbour. Of course the whole thing is based on gossiping old women neighbours - but what could be a more reliable source?

work

2008-10-08T22:22:00.001+11:00

Was talking with a friend at work the other day about some of the people we work with. Those people who work a lot, are motivated to work a lot – long hours and most weekends, and seem to really like to do it. We sort of came to the conclusion that these people are really passionate about their work, love to do it. maybe that was our problem - we’re not passionate enough about our work since we don’t feel the motivation to be working weekends, so maybe we’re not in the right jobs, maybe we need to find something new we are more passionate about. But the more I think about it the more I think thats all wrong. I mean life isn’t just about work, and as much as it’s a clichéd catch phrase, it is about balance. I do really like my job but that doesn’t mean that work is the only thing I want in my life or always (or often) the most important thing and I don’t think its so healthy all these people who work so much. The question is how to compete with all these people who work so much, keep a balanced lifestyle and still be successful in my kind of work. I think I’ll just choose to define success in a way that fits with what I’m doing.

000

2008-10-06T11:41:00.003+11:00

called the police for the first time in my life this morning. think I might have over reacted.
most of the time I sleep deeply but I think I was expecting to be woken up lats night what with it being sunday night (big pub night), the rugby grand final and being home alone. so when I heard the noise of someone opening our front gate around 5am I was pretty much awake, when the door knocker started going very much awake and by the time there was pounding on the door feeling kinda anxious. the rummy odour I was sure I could detect wasnt helping.
my plan of action was to listen intently, not make any noise so they wouldnt know I was there, and hope they'd go away. they didn't. but they didnt make any noise either for ages but just as I started to think I'd dreamt it, footsteps and then crashing against the house wall. Through the peep hole a swaggering male figure.
it was light out now and this was getting ridiculous so I summoned up the courage, got dressed, grabbed my phone and for some stupid reason a kitchen knife and opened the door.
he was just a kid, a seriously drunk kid, probably about 19 and dirty and smelly, with no idea what was going on. all my yelling and attempts at authority without actually opening the security door wouldnt make him go away though so after threatening a few times I called the police. of course he finally decided to leave before there was any sign of them coming. seems he thought our house was the backpackers ' what do you mean get away from your house - ozistay, backpackers - there's a whole lot of backpakers sitting outside in the back yard, if this isnt the backpackers than why was I sleeping here?' yeah, thats what I wanted to know, sigh.
had to cancel the police, seems so OTT to call the 'emergency' number because of a drunk kid but how else to get rid of him?

bad taste

2008-10-04T14:13:00.002+10:00

the rather uninspiring theme of the fancy dress event was 'bad taste, loud and/or daggy', but this does make it easy. Especially after I discovered to my great excitement that there is a big op shop around the corner from our house where everything is $1, ya! I love op shops. So I managed to get outfit for 3 bucks that was bad enough to win a prize. the prize was a chocolate penis, and a matching hat and apron set with 'red meat - we were meant to eat it' embroidered on it, which at the time seemed to be a totally hilarious and somewhat bad taste prize for a vegetarian.

home alone

2008-09-26T17:53:00.004+10:00

The first week of having the house all to myself was quite exciting. being able to do whatever I please. Watch whatever crap on TV I want, have the whole bed to myself, not have anyone in my way in the bathroom, read in bed with the light on for as long as I want, cook and eat lentils and pumpkins if I feel like it. but mid way through this the second week I was over it. I have to do all the cooking, cleaning, washing up, clothes washing and clothes hanging myself, no one is home to listen to my stories about annoying people at work and I've discovered I really dont like talking on the phone, there's no one ot shoo away the drunk people after they stumble out of the pub and converse outside our house. but its still nice having complete control over the remote.

motivation

2008-09-25T21:16:00.002+10:00

no matter how many times I say I'm not gonna do it any more I always always end up leaving everything to the last minute. Hence still at work at 9.15 and cant be bothered to think up anything more exciting to blog about. The problem is that I just dont seem to be able to get motivated to get things done unless I have a pending deadline. I am getting better at setting and keeping to my own deadlines but when it really coems down to it I still know that real deadlines are only the ones set by someone else with a consequence - mine can always be pushed

fancy dress

2008-09-24T22:51:00.003+10:00

Next week I will be attending a conference. We have just received logistics info from the organisers including the detail that one of the social events will be themed and require fancy dress.
These days when I am invited to an event that is themed or fancy dress my reaction is usually a groan, a deep sigh and a feeling of apprehension. Although its true that most times I've been to fancy dress events I've had a lot of fun, it all just seems like such a pain beforehand. I find it particularly problematic when its an event with people I dont really know - there's no feeling for how far people will go, how much effort will be necessary, will everyone actually dress up or not (or will I end up in a Bridget Jones type situation?). Making this particular event more difficult is that its a work related professional networking type event with people I've never met at all. Somehow fancy dress seems like a strange option at such an event but I guess it can only help with the networking. Perhaps the thing to do is to go all out so that people remember me - it can only help my scientific collaboration and job opening opportunities right?
At least its probably a good sign that the conference is unlikely to be stuffy and too formal.

superb fairy wren

2008-09-23T19:16:00.003+10:00

As I was stopped at the lights in my car on the way to work today (I've gotten very lazy in recent times), this delightful little guy (well probably not this exact one, but one just like him) sat upon my side mirror and was desperately trying to communicate something to his mate reflected in my passenger window by constantly flapping and pecking at the window. He was rather persistent and I was a little afraid of how he'd deal with the inevitable acceleration. He held on admirably for a while - clearly his message was very important, but eventually had to depart.

advice for life

2008-09-22T22:20:00.002+10:00

since I hadnt driven the Vespa for over two years and now live somewhere that is distinctly more hilly than where I lived when I used to drive it regularly (distinctly more hilly than many places), some practice of hill starts in the presence of my expert was needed before heading onto the proper road.
The consistent advice was as follows:
'more gas, give more gas'. 'you have to commit'. 'stop hesitating'.
hmm, I suspect this might be saying more about me than just my hill starts.

inevitable?

2008-09-19T16:50:00.002+10:00

today I am wondering if it is possible to avoid that nasty habits that most new parents seem to have of defining themselves through their children and assuming that everyone else in the world is as interested in all the (apparently) cute new things their child does as they are. When (if) I have kids will I do the same thing? I sadly must admit that that demon of a time-wasting pathetic bandwagonish lowbrow internet tool facebook has brought these thoughts upon me. Why o why do people put photos of their babies as their profile picture? I mean I know they're proud and all that but surely they see themselves as more than just thier children, they are still a person with a perosnailty and thoughts in their heads outside of the babies aren't they? or if not, at least want to be seen to be, no? yes yes I know I just dont understand and cant until I experience the 'joy of parenting' myself, but I really hope I wont ever understand and will be able to adore my children but still see me.

contemplation

2008-09-18T18:40:00.007+10:00

I've got a lot of time on my own to think at the moment. I realise I tend to neglect this blog since a) I'm lazy, b) its much easier to blog something on the 101 list because it doesnt require much thought. Anyway due to my excess of contemplation time I've decided to make an effort to blog something every day here for the next month (weekdays that is - I hate getting on the computer on the weekend) - excepting a few days when I will be away.
we'll see how this goes. its likely to be a lot of drivel and an insight into what goes on in my mind - scary

friends and acquaintances

2008-09-18T18:40:00.006+10:00

after what seemed like a random act of thoughtfulness I was contemplating how you judge the nature of your relationships with people. There are many people who I view just as acquaintances until something happens and I realise they perhaps think of me as more of a friend than I do of them. I wonder if its just me keeping a distance for no good reason but inadvertently implying there is no such distance.

manchester

2008-09-17T10:46:00.003+10:00

had a bit of a Manchester themed evening on Monday. I didn't particularly like the place when I lived there, but distance and time allows you to romanticise about a place or something. Although my Manchester evening meant watching 'Queer as Folk' and 'Shameless' - not much romantic there, must just be the British humour. Two pretty disparate views of Manchester life.
I guess I cant really judge being neither a gay man nor having ever lived on a council housing estate (phew!), but Shameless seems the more accurate version to me - but that perhaps just reflects my low opinion of Manchester. Queer as seemed a bit too OTT, somehow in a Four Weddings and Skins kinda British way. I dont remember Canal St being quite like that, but maybe it wasnt too far off actually.

reasons to love Brisbane part ??

2008-09-17T09:58:00.002+10:00

its only September and summer is here! yay!
Of course I am feeling rather summery 'cos I just spent a week where it was 40 degrees C every day so might be a bit warped but its still feels distinctly summery here.

market research

2008-08-08T10:17:00.002+10:00

I seem to have been somewhat hounded by market researchers recently, in particular a band of rather persistent Kiwis (or perhaps it was always the same individual who just happened to have a NZ accent?) who keep ringing me at home trying to get me to complete a survey about Australian media even though they themselves are not aware that The Australian is a newspaper. Anyway generally I don't mind helping out with the odd bit of market research - its a good little diversion from real work, I sometimes have a chance to win a prize (although I never actually win) and since I know its shitty job for the market research people I'm happy to give some feedback if I have time. So this week I was filling out a survey about my political preferences and I what I thought about how government deals with current issues here like the price of petrol, interest rates, proposed measure for dealing with climate change, etc. Anyway right in the middle of the survey in between all these political questions, the following question comes up: 'Do you believe Earth has been visited by aliens or Extra-Terrestrials?'
huh?..............HUH?

procrastination

2008-07-22T14:54:00.002+10:00

once again I'm wasting time which should be spent working but, I made an exciting discovery. According to this test I am 'Super-fit', yay! The unfair part being that if you're in the Super-fit category according to their guide you have to do more work than if you were in the under-fit or average fitness category. Life is just unfair. On the other hand, I feel this discovery justifies me eating some chocolate now.

breaking but luckily not entering

2008-07-17T17:23:00.002+10:00

last night I was standing outside the car in the dark fumbling with the key trying to get the door unlocked, since the lock and door handle is a bit dodgy sometimes, and thinking about a friend who last week kindly offered to let everyone leave their stuff in the car while we went for a walk and then when we returned put the key into the boot only to take it out again minus the key part - yep all gear in car, only key in halves with one half stuck inside the lock.
Anyway, as I tried to get the door open and not break my key I noticed the car in front was the exact same make and model and colour as my car, no, was my car!
Oops, I quickly removed the key from the car I had been attacking and moved as inconspicuously as possible onto the next one.

confused

2008-07-11T12:46:00.002+10:00

I received a questionnaire from the Equity Office today, actually a 'Staff Diversity Data Collection Form'. One of the questions asked me to indicate my sexuality, the choices being:
- Heterosexual
- Bisexual
- Gay male
- Lesbian
- Queer
- Other (please specify)

clearly I'm not up with my terms of sexuality definitions but I had to wonder, what exactly is Queer given its apparently not one of the previous options?

compensation

2008-06-27T14:04:00.003+10:00

we're hiring a research assistant and since I have no idea what I'm meant to be paying her I was checking out the University rates of pay. Through procrastination and curiosity I came across the allowances page and found out that we have a 'Removal of Dead Animals Allowance' of $1.97 per day on each day on which the work was performed, hmmm. seems like pretty meagre compensation to me.

(don't worry, I do not intend to have cause to pay this allowance to my poor research assistant)

Daddos

2008-06-18T17:44:00.004+10:00

The prize mentioned in the previous post was a trip to one of Australia's 7 natural wonders (or perhaps its was even all of them I cant remember). Giving us a chance to see what fantastic things we were now helping to conserve by using less resources presumably. One of the supposed key selling points of this prizes was that it included some kind of guided tour done in person by the wonderful Cameron Daddo* (or possibly another Daddo - they're all the same aren't they?). Now I would really love to visit some of these places and think a free trip to see them is a pretty fine prize, given that some of these areas aren't that easy to get to, but to spend an afternoon in the presence of a Daddo, surely thats too much to ask, much more than a koala can bear isnt it? No doubt it would also involve filming for part of a dodgy holiday program or something, ugh. I often wonder when I hear about these kind of prizes where you can win a trip to x fantastic location or y super event and get to have lunch with C grade celebrity so and so or meet the band backstage. Would you be able to say great, thanks, I'm in, cant wait but I'll ditch the Daddo part thanks. surely the so called celebrities would prefer it that way too?

*there are about 4 Daddo brothers, and possibly some sisters, who all look the same and are well known on Australian TV for starring in badly made soapies, hosting holiday and backyard transformation type of shows, appearing on Dancing with the Stars and I think they even had a band at one point.

saving the planet

2008-06-18T14:53:00.002+10:00

I recently received a letter from the phone company. They informed me they had come up with the innovative idea to compress my phone bill to two pages only in the name of environmental friendliness. In addition to this remarkable idea, I could opt to be even more friendly to our planet buy choosing to receive no paper bill at all, but rather receive and pay my bills electronically, and they'd even offer me the chance to win a spiffy prize . 'bout bloody time I thought, and quickly jumped onto the world wide web to sign myself up. Since I pay the bill online anyway I really see no point in receiving extra paper which only clutters up my space, makes me have to file more and wastes oodles of expensive resources the costs for which the company undoubtedly passes onto me. Actually, they really should be reducing my bill if I choose that option as my wonderful Swiss bank did when I opted not to receive paper statements from them, but I digress....
a week later I receive a paper letter in the normal mail from said company:
'Dear Penny Smith,
we write to notify you that Penny Smith has accessed Penny Smith's account #xxxxx.
Kind Regards
Your Phone Company'

I guess we cant expect too much from a communication provider

reminder

2008-05-11T21:47:00.002+10:00

I was reminded last night that a) German beer is stronger than your average Aussie lager b) beer and jetlag do not make for a good combination.

übercool

2008-05-11T21:33:00.002+10:00

seems that what the Germans lack in friendliness (which is a lot compared to your average Queenslander) they can make up for in coolness, or at least that seems to be the case in the Schanzenviertel of Hamburg - groovy thriving cafes, grungy hole-in-the-wall bars, edgy and funky little shops, cheap and yummy food and beer, interesting fashion and extra spiffy bicycles. All this and at the moment theres super weather, although I know this is something Germany doesnt do often.
seriously thinking that it must be time to move back to Europe

kisses

2008-05-11T21:26:00.004+10:00

In the airport yesterday I bought some Hershey's Kisses which I havent had for years. I'm glad to say there was no disappointment, they were as good as remembered, so that despite attempts at control I ate about 10 in 5 minutes. yum. The little messages inside each one were not quite as remembered though. Things like 'I like you' and 'kiss someone' were as expected, 'thanks' didnt quite make sense but the one which seemed odd was one that said 'I miss recess', hmmm.

drag

2008-04-27T17:15:00.003+10:00

last night we were out for a few drinks and there was a drag show in the pub. While it all seemed like amusing entertainment I must admit there's much I dont get about it. Firstly the 'queens' really didnt look good, infact I dont think I've been many drag shows where they do look good - are they supposed to, is this one of those beholder things and I'm just not the target audience or is it all part of the joke that they dont look good? One of them looked like she (he) had exactly the same bad plastic surgery job as the son on Nip Tuck but was about 2m tall (possibly a slight exaggeration) and dressed as Posh Spice. The other question was where they put their bits. a few of them were wearing dresses so its a non issue , but some were wearing just g-string teddies. I'm pretty sure they're not transvestites and havent had them removed but can you really dance around that long with it tucked between your legs?